Hey hey hey.

Listen up everyone.
I’m such a mess all the time. ALL OF THE TIME.
Some days I almost run out of gas throw two dollars in the tank and jet. Just yesterday I left my flash drive in the library with all my assignments on it and I had to redo them at 1 a.m. after work. I’m constantly double parked and full of too much caffeine. I listen to music way too loud at all times and I feel an extreme amount of compassion for a lot of people.

Living the dream and actively pursuing what I’ve been working towards for the past 18 years has become increasingly stressful.
This morning I rolled my windows down in the 40 degree weather and blasted my music so I wouldn’t fall asleep while I drove dutifully to my 8 a.m. It’s not a glamorous thing to do. It’s a knock down drag out sanguinary (See the dramatic linguistics?) pursuit.

That’s the thing! People think you just go out and do it with no blood sweat and tears up until they’re also simultaneously crying, typing, screaming, eating, and wishing they could watch Gossip Girl or go out.

I sure thought that. I’m a big picture thinker generally. So it never occurred to me that I would be combatting serious exhaustion on my way to an 8 a.m. class (and worrying about the safety of all drivers near me).

—–Cont. After a Short Library Nap—–

After class I slept in the library a little bit so I wouldn’t annihilate everyone with my car. Anyway.

Where I was going with was that IT DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT REALLY HAPPY AND IT DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE. So yeah. I freak out. I swear a lot to my textbooks. I don’t sleep. But whatever.
I hope that’s your attitude about your dreams too!

XOXO,
NBNealie

You really can’t settle for just anyone because you have someone on your mind?

Myself currently.

Hey coffee talk is going up tomorrow though!

XOXO,
Elusive NBNealie

Hey guys. It’s a mess but it is here. I filmed and edited in a whopping 30 minutes.

Oh and dad guest stars for 7 seconds!

Ready… SET… GO!

XOXO
NBNealie

Hey NBN today is my daddy’s birthday! So instead of a mundane regular daughters birthday card I’m taking it upon myself to broadcast via the Internet what a wonderful human being my dad has been to me for the past 18 years. As the Internet Queen it is only right.

Happy birthday to my wonderful daddy. (I won’t broadcast your age to my following.) There couldn’t be a better role model, best friend, or rock than you. You make anywhere home and not many people can do that. A lot of people my age aren’t close with their parents, but I’m happy we’re really close.

Thanks for teaching me how to ride a bike – which meant scraped knees.
Thanks for getting me dogs you didn’t like – which was really really important to little me.
Thanks for letting me ride that stupid train at the park – which was a waste of $25.00 for you.
Thanks for holding my hand at Disney Land when I was scared – which annoyed you.
Thanks for all the ramen and the dumb cable TV at the apartment – which will always be my favorite times.
Thanks for finding my first cell phone I lost at the park with me – which was 1,000s of tears.
Thanks for letting me cry when my first boyfriend and I broke up – which was probably uncomfortable for you.
Thanks for teaching me how to drive a car – which meant whip lash for you.
Thanks for every single tennis match – which meant a lot more than I ever let you know.
Thanks for getting excited about my first paycheck with me – which was probably hard considering it was like $70.00.
Thanks for taking me to Cali all those years – which led to some of my favorite memories.
Thanks for coming to the hospital when I had my first surgery (LATE) – which actually I’m still bitter about.
Thanks for walking on the field with me senior night – which was so so cold.
Thanks for crying with me at grad – which was the best night of my life.
Thanks for taking me to NYC – which was a bucket list thing for me.
Thanks for helping me through my first day of college freak out – which was so dumb.
Thanks for 4 new tires when I got a flat – which was the best thing ever.

And thank you for waking me up today on the first day of my Sophomore year and having breakfast with me even though you finished breakfast like an hour before that.

Happy birthday.

XOXO
Love,
Your little one.

(And your hands down favorite child.)

Listen up all of my wonderful wonderful wonderful subbies. I pulled out my LAPTOP at 02:16 for this… My actual laptop. Not my iPhone and not the iPad. It isn’t even my old Toshiba… I pulled out the mean machine (A.K.A. The beautiful shiny new plum colored HP I received for grad back in June) for this very blog post.

THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IS A BORING BUT IMPORTANT RANT:

I have here a few things I think everyone should know about love but first… I’m sitting here pounding the keys of my laptop mercilessly, and thinking about how I’m definitely at a weird age. Half of the adults in my life take me seriously, and the other half of adults in my life wish I would quit growing up. It’s true. I’m in transition. The thing is I’m mentally around the age of thirty running around in an 18 year old’s body and DYING for someone to just look at me and say, “You know what… I get it. You’re just trying your best and observing everything as you go and making your own mistakes and that is really really rad. Just be careful and hug your loved ones tight.” BUT NO ONE IS BECAUSE THIS IS LIFE AND PEOPLE ASSUME THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE CONSTANTLY TOLD THE THINGS THEY NEED TO HEAR AND IT’S JUST NOT TRUE. I’m making a habit of just saying things that come to mind about other people because if we get lazy and fall into the mind set that “oh that person has probably been told they are lovely before” we will all get lazy and no one will EVER know how great they are.

THAT BEING SAID… I am 18 going on 19 and I feel like I know more about love and life than some people ever will for all of their years. So lets please take a minute, sit back, and just listen to what the Internet Queen has to say shall we? Before we get into the “she’s too young to understand anything at all” mind set.

1.) Even your average Einstein can be plain dumb with their heart.

“No shocker there Nealie.” Yeah, I get it… Most love does make people uncharacteristically dumb. Lately though I’ve watched people I care very much about fall in and out of love with some real bang up human beings. Some of the smartest people I know curl up with Ben & Jerry’s on a regular basis due to a new Earth shattering fracture to the all important blood-pumping-thought-stupifying heart. I had to look at my best friend the other day and say, “You, my love, are a very smart girl. However, you are very dumb with that heart of yours.” Because it is late and my brain is absolutely fried from exhaustion I am going to very hautily declare my absolute correctness in saying that this goes for A LOT OF PEOPLE. (Sass is at a record high of 52 out of 10 tonight on NBN…)

2.) Young adults are the #1 worst at defining relationships.

This pertains to all of my 18 to 26 year old following… WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?! Get it together and tell the girl you want her if you want her and leave her alone if you don’t! Tell the guy that you can’t stop thinking about him! Quit being ridiculous and getting caught up in the “he-said-she-said-gotta-play-it-cool” mentality!!! I am guilty. However, in the same respect that I am trying to tell other people in general what is actually on my mind about them – I am also trying to get over myself long enough to get over this STUPID “Play it Cool” thing that some moron decided was cute. SERIOUSLY THOUGH… I wish every time I asked a friend of mine if they were dating someone the answer wasn’t, “Oh IDK we’re kind of talking, but it’s like whatevs and we like might maybe totally date soon.”

3.) The love experts are not experts and absolutely no one can help you with whomever it is that you decide to dote upon.

You are on your own! That’s right… You heard it here first folks… You are plain out of luck. Quit asking your friends and your mom and all of Facebook and everyone you know and the friendly barista what you should do about your love life. Why? Simply because there is no manual for all the different people types (no matter what the social scientists tell you) that you can decide to spend your feelings on. This is all really case by case, and people react diferently to all different things and you react differently to all the types of people you know because you are your own unique person so there isn’t anyone in the world who can look you in the eye and honestly tell you what to do next with someone you are head over heels for. I’m sorry, and I wish it was different and that I could tell you differently, but I can’t.

There are a lot of things that I haven’t discussed here on NBN for the sake of other people’s privacy and the privacy of my own family, but you all know I have hinted at my less than stellar love life history. (As my parents read this I can feel their cringe in my bones… Thanks for letting me make my own mistakes anyway because that made me a more solid human being.) The point is that it has all made for a GREAT GREAT GREAT life lesson, and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. I would redo it all again if it meant that I could be sitting in my bed at 02:56 telling you this… The most important thing you all should know… The big number four.

4.) You’re going to have to figure it out.

Love comes in all different colors is the best way I can put it. Love comes in toxic black, love comes in violent purples, love comes in reckless yellow, love comes in dreary blues, love comes in a young carefree pink, love comes in blow-your-mind-unconditional-can’t-eat-can’t-sleep-without-you red. You just have to figure out what your love is. It’s okay not to know because hind sight will always be 2020. You don’t really know what you have on your plate until all of a sudden you know what you don’t have. You might think your love life is perfect and you have it all when all of a sudden you get left high and dry. Kind of like how when you’re five you think the world is perfect, and all of a sudden you’re 18 and all you can read about online is wars and global warming and what reality TV star did what and gas prices in flux…

I don’t know who was supposed to read this today, but I do know it was put on my heart to write it… Heck maybe I wrote it for myself.

Just know you’re going to have to figure it out on your own.

Don’t be discouraged.

Always put your happy first.

Never run out of time for the little things you adore.

Always make time for your family.

Breathe.

Take it all in.

Lastly, and most importantly (in my opinion) know that I believe in you while you’re figuring it all out.

XOXO

NBNealie

Hey guys here’s your vid for the week!

Glad I filmed it early because this first week in my promotion position has been crazy…

Enjoy!

XOXO
NBNealie

Something I wish someone had told me in high school:

If it matters to you it’s not stupid.

Why you ask? Well because it’s true. Don’t let anyone brush you off! Ever. And especially not while you’re just trying to begin to figure out who you are. If something is weighing on your mind you have every right to meditate on it for as long as you want, ask for help from as many people as you want, and to be heard without fear of judgement. 

Never let anyone make you think that you have an idea that is “lesser”, “unimportant”, etc… IT’S JUST NOT TRUE. Your thoughts are so insanely valuable I can’t even begin to express the importance of you just saying it out loud or writing it down…. Just getting it out from where it’s trapped in you. 

DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE YOU AND FEEL CONFIDENT ABOUT YOUR SPECIFIC THOUGHTS AND STRUGGLES AND DREAMS.

If no one has ever told you this before I’m telling you now! 
This is your sign! 
Don’t wait!
You don’t need anyone’s approval to know that what’s on your mind matters!
IF IT MATTERS TO YOU IT IS NOT STUPID.

In high school I didn’t know that. I’ve learned so much more about myself and other people and just life in general in ONE SEMESTER OF COLLEGE than I ever did in high school! In fact I think I made an Instagram post about that a couple weeks into college let me find it…

Here it is:

Anyway I needed to get this out on the internet and on the screens of my young ones because you never know who needs to see things like this. You never know who hasn’t been told anything like this…

See you next week!

XOXO
NBNealie

P.S. I NEED TO FILM FOR NEXT WEEK. QUICK. GIVE ME TOPICS/IDEAS.

Connect with me!
Email: nothingbutnealie@yahoo.com
Twitter: @nothngbutnealie
Insta: @nealieelisabeth
Facebook: Facebook.com/nothingbutnealie

Good morning and I love each and every one of you.
Here’s some news and a little catch up vid.

Lalala lalala lalalalalalala

Missed you so very much.

XOXO
NBNealie

Hey babies.
I want to start the year off on this note…

There ARE good people in the world.
Find just a few and hold on to them.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to just have a few good people around you.

Let’s start off 2015 with this quote about inner strength:

You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

-Marcus Aurelius

Have a happy happy new year and take this as 365 more days to work towards your goals and dreams!
Write every day. Listen to a new song every day. Say hi to someone new every day. Strive to be a better you and live without the toxic things in your life from 2014.

Lots of love from my home to yours.

XOXO
NBNealie 2015

Quietly blogging from a table in IHOP. I have entirely too much on my mind so here I am relieving all the stress pent up in me at the end of the year.

I just need to write this down to express it somehow… If you’re a writer you’re bound to understand.

There are a lot of things I haven’t been saying. To save a little face. To keep things simple. Blah blah blah. I’m lying to myself.

Recently in my life I feel like I haven’t been getting the responses that I would like from people when I ask for advice. I am a big believer in your circumstance being meant for you so that means that I really need to figure this one out for myself. Here goes nothing I suppose.

Just a little vague update.

XOXO,
NBNealie