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When a Guy Walks Out of the Girls Bathroom.

So, while on my way to Dallas the other day I really need to go to the bathroom. So we make a stop at Joe’s Crabshack so I can relieve myself. I ask the nicest hostess if I may use their restroom, and she says yes and tells me where it is and in my mind I’m like, “SCORE BATHROOM!” So then I walk in and I’m staring at this guy. Now the first thing I think is, “Dude it has girl spelled on the bathroom door like a million different ways. It literally says. Girls, Ladies, Women, Jills, Gals.” Then the guys kind of running past me to get out and not looking at my face. Then I get this is already the beginning to a very bad scene in a very scary horror movie. My body goes into super sonic avoid-scary-movie-scene speed, and I go to the bathroom in five seconds. Sing happy birthday 10 times too fast as I wash my hands and I book it out of “Joe’s Crabshack of Creepy Horrors”

XOXO

How to Make People Feel Awkward at Grocery Stores.

So every girl has had that grocery trip where they only came to buy tampons. Which sucks. People are all staring and then they look at the box in your hand and then they run away like you have leprocy or something. Well okay, they don’t exactly run, but you get what I’m saying they look in the space around your head and make you feel awkward. So I created this method of shopping for those who don’t really care about how strange people think you are. And I created it just because some target employee had the nerve to stare at me all funny like. That man has never experienced awkward like this before. Okay so here is what I did. I picked up my like 50 pack of Kotex tampons and just held them in both my hands with my arms just straight out in front of me. Then this guy is like wow, I need to get out of this isle. Now, the next thing I did happened by complete accident but it’s brilliant. By accident my moms boyfriend elbowed my arms and the tampon box lands perfectly in the guys way, and in my mind I’m like, “Bingo feel the awkward!” When really I just started laughing hysterically and picked up my jumbo pack of tampons. So to review. Step 1: Hold out your tampon box as if you yourself are disgusted with shopping for them. And if you need to you may also move on to step 2: Just drop and or gently throw the box. You’re welcome.

XOXO

While Drinking Out of a Glass Bottle Try Not to be Offended.

So I’m walking, (somewhere I can’t remember where.) and I’m drinking Izze soda, the very last bits of it. It’s so worth the last drops, it is very good soda. Then I look up and this lady is giving me the dirtiest look! And to make it all the more better I’m walking right towards her. I’m like okay, wardrobe malfunction or what? So I get past her and I try to get another last drop and I look up and… BAM! Another lady with a baby on her hip is like giving me the stank eye. Okay so I’m thinking people just always assume that you’re up to no good when you are drinking out of a glass bottle. Just a warning, you should expect dirty looks the next time some one sees you drinking root beer out of a glass bottle from a distance.

XOXO

Dreams Are Truly Uncontrollable. Tsk, Tsk.

So I had a dream the other day that I kissed my best friends brother. That’s messed up. I MEAN COME ON. It’s her BROTHER. It’s like the song BFB by Victoria Justice, but I sware, it was just an accident. Then I had a dream that this guy I know asked me to his senior prom and I kissed him. That is still just so messed up. I know I see him everyday, but really should I have such a vivid image of him in my mind. Your answer: NO!!! Dear mind, when you aren’t under my control can’t you just whip me up a Hollister model to kiss?

XOXO

Pesky Underwear, and the Importance of Family Advice.

So today I’m on the phone with my mom because she wants to know when I’ll be home from my dads. She likes to know a lot so I decided to fill her in on what I went shopping for the other day. I got two pairs of jeans, a ruffle cami, and 13 pairs of underwear. Naturally I got the response, “13!!!” Yes mother, 13. She thinks I have an underwear obsession. Then I go on to say, “Well some have a bow in the front and some have a bow in the back so I might put some on backwards.” She tells me not to worry about it because hers get put on backwards too, and I’m like wow. Then she goes on to clarify, “Well not backwards but sideways because you know sometimes it’s hard to tell whats the front. I suggest you don’t do that though because you’ll walk around feeling uncomfortable ALL DAY!” This is surprisingly a more normal conversation between the two of us.

XOXO

A Word for the Beginning .

Hello, I’m Nealie and if you’re reading this you have found your way to my blog. Now I’m not going to blog about what’s on the news or what the media can’t stop talking about. This is a sort of “In The Life Of” blog. If you don’t care to know the stories of a girl with a strange name you might not want to stick around, but if you’re up for it I think you might enjoy this. I’ll try to blog every day, but that all depends on what happens in my day. I’ll try to keep it pretty interesting for y’all. Also I apologize for any gramatical errors in advance please don’t let it annoy you or turn you off of my blog! That being said I promise to try my best to keep all that to a minimum. We’re up for some good times and it all begins here.